Top 5 Republican Candidate Nicknames

In order of their Poll numbers, here are the best hopes for beating President Obama:

Newt "The Fig" - Newt Gingrich - with an ego eclipsed only by his head, Mr. Gingrich has carved out a name for himself at the top of this Tea Party.

Mr. Flip Flop - Mitt Romney - he can't seem to figure out what he stands for and will support anyone that pays him.

9 is Fine - Herman Cain - seemingly the most sane, except for a couple minor details (lack of foreign policy knowledge, sexual abuse alligations, insulting black voters intelligence, and of course his not so funny pun to beat the president with a Cain)

Dr. Downer - Ron Paul - He has struggled to gain much mainstream support but has clearly won the contest of the smartest Texan.

Good ol' Boy - Rick Perry - Poor Ricky, briefly at the top, now can't see the light of day, or remember departments of the government he wants to run. Oh Ricky, simple minded Ricky, we love you!